Sex File: I can't have sex with my wife without thinking about her affair

'Unravelling infidelity is never easy - it takes commitment and a rebuilding of trust that can take years'

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Q: My wife had a brief affair last year before Covid. We have reconciled during the pandemic and she assured me it was a mistake, but I still find it hard to be intimate with her without thinking about it. How can I get over this?

A: With difficulty. Infidelity is such a serious breach of trust in a marriage that a bit of verbal reassurance is never going to be enough to wipe the slate clean. Intellectually, people understand that infidelity occurs, but they find it very hard to forgive when it happens to them.