Ask Audrey: I’m an estate agent, I tend to blush when I tell the truth

Ask Audrey has been sorting out Cork people for ages.

C’mere, what’s the story when your old doll has slept with half of Cork? We opened a third bottle of wine during the snow last weekend and then it all came out. I thought I’d be a clear winner on the bangy-bangy front, given that I do be like a young Gabriel Byrne. But it turns out the old doll whupped my ass with a massive 27 sexual partners. I can’t even walk down Pana with her now, without going, ‘What about him? Or him?’. How can I get over this? – Dowtcha Donie, Blackpool, I wish I had more sex when I had the chance.

Getting that on my gravestone. I’m shocked to hear your ‘old doll’ only slept with 27 men. With that kind of number, she’d still probably qualify to get into the nuns. My Conor got very upset when he discovered he had 17 less conquests (his words) than me.