Ask Audrey: What’s the story with people who don’t like jazz?

All my life I’ve dreamed of living in Crosshaven. Anyway, my aunt died recently, thank God, and left me a tidy six figures in her will. (All those afternoons watching Daithí and Maura with her in the retirement village really paid off!) So, I’ve started looking at a few houses down in Crosser. Do you think the yachting crowd will accept me? (My father plays darts).

It’s a dream come true, for your neighbours in Greenmount.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but Crosshaven is about as classy as eating Ferrero Rocher in the back of a Ford Capri. The real yachting crowd would sooner be caught getting off a bus in Turners Cross than viewing a house in Crosser. I asked my Posh Cousin to sum up the problem with that part of the world in one word.