Sex File: I'm grieving, so why am I having sexual fantasies?

Despite my grief for my husband who died last year, my libido has recently returned stronger than it has been in years and I feel incredibly guilty

Although orgasm isn't high on the list when it comes to grief management, it should be, because it is such an effective way to self-soothe. Picture: iStock 

My husband died last year, far too young, and a complete shock to me and our young kids. Despite my grief, my libido has recently returned stronger than it has been in years, and I am having fantasies that make me feel incredibly guilty. Am I wrong to feel like this?

The experience you describe is much more common than you think. Although many people lose interest in sex while they are grieving, the relationship between bereavement and sexual desire seems to be particularly nuanced, and it is not unusual for others to experience a heightened sex drive and seek physical intimacy as a way to feel connected, comforted and less alone.