Sex File: Work stress means my partner is never in the mood 

Rather than taking it personally, you need to acknowledge your partner's stress. Think about it as a temporary unwelcome house guest and shift your focus from your individual lack of confidence to your combined need for respite from stress

Once the thought of performing sexually or having to meet someone else's needs becomes overwhelming, withdrawal is a form of self-preservation. Your issue is the fact you interpret his reluctance as rejection. Picture: iStock

My partner's libido has nosedived since his work stress picked up last year. It has really knocked my confidence that he's never 'in the mood' any more. I don't want to pressure him into it but I believe if I didn't initiate we'd never have sex at all, so I feel stuck.

When someone has made it clear they don't want to do something, repeatedly asking them to do it is counterproductive. It is incredibly difficult for someone who is very stressed to switch gears and relax enough to engage in intimacy.