Sex File: I feel no attraction to the grumpy old man my husband has become

I'm in my fifties and feel I could still be enjoying a decent sex life

He feels old and impotent, and the age gap between you probably doesn't help either. Picture: iStock

I have been with my partner for 30 years plus. Half of that in marriage. He is older than me, which was never an issue, but as time has gone on he has become beset by various ailments which have had a profound effect on his personality. He has gone from being someone who made me laugh and always saw the best in people, to having a permanently negative outlook. Our once-passionate sex life is non-existent and I feel no attraction to the grumpy old man he has become - but feel, in my fifties, I could still be enjoying a decent sex life. How can I reverse this decline or come to terms with my situation in a way that doesn't leave me resentful?

Illness and pain have a remarkable capacity to change the way people think and behave. It is not just about physical discomfort - the degree to which a person is suffering is not necessarily related to the degree of pain that they are in - it is the impact that the experience of being ill has on the way that people think. Even when symptoms are under control, a sick person worries about what it will feel like when the pain starts again.