Talk To Me: I'm hurt by my girlfriend’s liaison during our four-month break

Psychologist Caroline Martin is here to answer your questions on whatever issues you are dealing with in life, from work pressure and stress to loneliness and grief

Young man feeling sad after arguing with his girlfriend on sofa at home.

I got back with my ex six months ago after being apart for about four months. We’ve been together for five years. She initiated the breakup, citing me being too busy for important days, dates, etc. I didn’t want to break up with her and missed her a lot during our time apart. Also, my family has had a lot of health problems and only recently lost a loved one. My girlfriend just told me that while we were apart, she saw someone for two to three months. This has shocked me, and I’m extremely hurt and angry by it. She doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong, but I feel she has.

I can just hear it now, ‘We were on a break’. The sense of betrayal stings. You both had different experiences of the breakup, so it is only natural that it will have had a different impact on both of you individually. While your girlfriend may have considered it for some time, you were somewhat blindsided.