Lighten Up: Fields of Skibbereen beat the gardens of New York any day
There's no beating Skibbereen, according to our Auld Lehane. Picture: Dan Linehan
Launching a new book is never an easy task. A bit like taking a calf with three legs to the mart, you never quite know how you will get on. You might sell, you might not.
Book launches make me nervous. They turn my stomach... even if it's someone else's book!
Anyhow, last week, having pieced together another fine book of stories from my life out here on the farm, I decided to launch it the way old Bezos launches his rocket... with plenty of smoke, steam and great big balls of fire.
Seeing as how I had christened my book , I decided that I was going to launch the book in New York City. In the great Madison Square Garden. And why not? Auld Lehane was thinking big.
Anyhow, on the Tuesday before my book launch, I made a few calls, and soon I was on the blower to the top man at Madison Square Garden. "We are at your service," says he, very eager to do business.
"What I want," says I, is to rent out Madison Square Garden for two days over the start of July. On the first day, I will hold a class of a rehearsal, with about 100 people in attendance.
"And on day two, I will invite about 1,000 people and there, under strict security, I will launch my book onto the global market. I want streets blocked and loads of police all around in case of crazed fans. And that's all really."
It sounded great, and the man on the phone seemed very excited. But then things went haywire, when it was discovered that Madison Square Garden had already been booked out by another very famous person.
"I'm sorry," says he. "But Taylor Swift, the pop singer, will unfortunately be having her wedding there on them dates." Yerra, I was furious, of course, when I heard the news.
"But we could always ask her to move on to another venue, so that you could have your book launch," my man in America said. 'Twas a kind offer... and for a second I was sorely tempted.
"Yerra no," says I. "Tell Taylor to stay put! Auld Lehane will just have to launch his book someplace else," I declared, and with great sadness, I hung up the receiver.
I was gutted, naturally.
"Well, there goes that dream," says I to myself as I stared out across a lake somewhere in rural Ireland. I was like Barry Keoghan really, from the film , only a little older, fatter and brighter.
But then, just when all seemed lost, out came my missus with a startling solution to my book launch dilemma.
"Why not launch your book in Skibbereen?" she boldly suggested. "Considering you are collecting your books in the town, could we not just head across the road and have the launch in Field's Café with a cream bun and a cup of coffee?
"It would be far less expensive than Madison Square Garden, and far more enjoyable too, I suspect," says she. Well, boy golly, the woman was talking sense.
Skibbereen sounded like a great idea. A far better option than heading to Madison Square Garden for two days and spending about $5m.
And with that, the mood of Auld Lehane soared once again. Like a Phoenix, I rose from the ashes.
So last week, back in Skibbereen, after collecting my shiny new books from Inspire Design, we made our way across the road to Fields. And there, in the company of my daughter Sarah and my missus, we launched it, with tea, scones and lashings of strawberry jam.
It was probably the most relaxed book launch ever experienced since the creation of paper. It was a fantastic afternoon really. Why would you go any place else?
And so you can keep your Madison Square Garden, for as long as we have wonderful places like Fields of Skibbereen, we here in West Cork don't need to look any further.
- Denis Lehane's 'New York Stories (and other rural tales)' is out now, and available from the author.
