Lighten Up: Tractor pilots wanted
If you can handle an old Massey, a jumbo will be a charm, writes our Auld Lehane in this week's Lighten Up.
With the silage all in, and the slurry all spread.
With the hay bob lying idle, and your cock lifter parked in the shed.
Have you ever at all wondered, what else can you do?
When there's a hole in your pocket, and one in your shoe.
Well, here's the solution, my dear man in a bind.
Become an airline pilot, and leave all your hardship behind.
For reports have come in of job vacancies galore
Up there in the sky, where the planes they do soar
The roles they are plenty, the numbers they need
For a plane needs a pilot, like a plant needs a seed
And to steer the old ship, takes courage and charm
'Tis the kind that comes naturally, when you're reared on a farm
The farm is the key, for success in the air
For it teaches you skills, that can keep you up there
All kinds of confusion, a farmer handles with ease
So flying a plane, sure t'would be a breeze.
For while training will be given, and no word of a lie
You will need a little tutoring to fly in the sky
But you have all the basics from your life on the farm
If you can handle an old Massey, a jumbo will be a charm.
And that old David Brown, with the wheel falling off
Well that won't be a problem, once you finally take off.
For the money will flow in, and put the farm in good stead
You will no longer need to rattle your poor head
To find a payment for the vet, or the Co-Op by year's end
My dear man, when you are flying, the cheques you can send
Without fear of a bounce, for the only bounce you will feel
Will be the tyres on the tarmac, as the brakes you do squeal.
And another flight over, another touchdown
You are the band new tractor pilot; the toast of the town.
