WELCOME, then, 2013.

I’M WRITING this a week ahead of time because the elves that make the newspaper magically appear every morning are having a few days off at Christmas, so by the time you read this you may already be dead.

IS IT better to give or to receive, or to simply hide in a cave until it’s all over?

THE Christmas tree thing is giving me status anxiety.

THE Round Robin season is upon us.

YEARS ago, I did a creative writing course at the local university.

AFTER an extended gap year from dating, I draw my self-imposed man ban to a close, ending my sabbatical by bringing the new chap home to meet the kids.

THE death of Savita Halappanavar, the dentist who died after a prolonged miscarriage at a hospital in Galway, is under investigation.

WHEN Katarina smashed up New Orleans, we looked on in horror the way you would a foreign disaster movie — appalling, but not really something you could relate to.

IT’S not even Hallowe’en and there are a pile of Christmas cards on my desk.