The Deirdre O'Shaughnessy Podcast: Louise O’Neill on heartbreak, dating 100 men and A Bigger Life

The Irish novelist joins Deirdre to discuss heartbreak, dating across four countries and how taking risks helped her rebuild her life

Louise O’Neill reveals how a painful breakup inspired her new memoir, A Bigger Life

Louise O’Neill became a household name following the publication of her seminal novel Asking for It, which opened up conversations about rape culture and misogyny in Ireland.

A former Irish Examiner columnist and prolific novelist, her life was thrown into disarray in 2023 by a high-profile breakup she describes as “humiliating”.

In her new memoir, A Bigger Life, Louise describes being “set alight, and turned to ash” by the relationship breakdown. She also charts her unorthodox return to dating, inspired by a conversation with her father.

“I really felt like, I have been humiliated enough. I was like, I really don't feel in any way able or ready for this. And I did say to my dad, I was like, I just, I don't want to do this.

“And, of course, what I meant by that was like, I'm afraid. You know, I'm afraid that if this happens again, I won't be able to survive it the second time. And then he said he said, Okay, Lou, you know, if you want a bigger life, you have to take bigger risks.” 

Her experiment involved going on 100 dates across four countries, meeting all sorts of men in pursuit of sexual chemistry and rediscovering her faith in human nature.

In this episode, Louise tells the Deirdre O'Shaughnessy Podcast about the grief of losing a version of her life, the unanswered questions that sundered her relationship, re-establishing her connection with her own desire and her unapologetic pursuit of sexual pleasure.

And as for her new singles’ travel agency — you heard it here first.