THERE are few words in any language less ambiguous than no. No means not happening, not at all, nothing, zilch, nada, nil, not on, naught, nowt, not a damn thing, get your coat, go home. No means no.

I’D love to have come up with something important this week, like the state of humanity or whatever, but I’ve been too glued to I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here every night, and if I miss it, I watch in on catch-up.

YOU have to love the evolution of language. I’m sure there’s a word for it. The words that are most interesting are the new ones which pop up every year, ascending from everyday slang to inclusion in the Oxford English Dictionary.

If you’re old enough to remember Mikhail Gorbachev, with his distinctive birthmark, you might wonder if he was actually just a dream.

IT appears to be winter. Unless you are a fan, you have little choice but to suck it up (being a parent of school age kids, you can’t just jump on a one way flight to a deserted beach hut and stay there, living on coconuts and novels, until spring – the kids would have nobody to check their homework, and would probably get scurvy from all the takeaway pizza).

MOBILE phones are a wonderful thing. A digital umbilical cord, they allow your kids to roam freely, getting up to unsupervised god knows what, but still smart enough to send the odd reassuring text telling you are alive and well, whilst forewarning you of their next demands for food, cash, a lift, or all three.

Sometimes having a press card can be very handy, and not just for waving in officers’ faces when you’re about to get arrested.

YESTERDAY I got to see a proof of the forthcoming paperback edition of (shameless plug alert) my book The Liberty Tree, all fantastic graphics and fantastic review quotes (end of shameless plug), and it made me feel so glad that (a) my book exists and (b) all books exist.

WHOSE idea was it to hold the 2022 World Cup in a little place the size of Connecticut with temperatures hotter than inside your oven? Whose idea was it to hold the world’s biggest football event, synonymous with lager, lager, lager, in a place that doesn’t do alcohol?

So scientists are 95% certain that it is indeed we humans who are causing climate change.