IT’S THE sort of thing a sulky child might say: “I didn’t want to go to Russia anyway”.

THE World Health Organisation lists the symptoms: boredom, drowsiness, short-term aversion to newspapers and mild nausea brought on by everybody else’s hype and hysteria.

SO here’s the story so far. Tom hates George. George hates Tom. Tom really hates Rick, but can’t get rid of him until George approves (which he won’t).

WE’VE checked the family tree of every single player and there’s no trace of Swedish ancestry.

SOMETIMES you should listen to the optimists. “We’ve got easier games coming up” they said.

THERE’S no place like a home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.

UNITED fans of a higher mental calibre (the ones who don’t look at light bulbs in awe) weren’t excited about their team’s start because they hadn’t beaten a team in the top 10.

INTERNATIONAL week isn’t a great time to write a club column so I’ve been clutching at straws for days now.

THAT was a weird column last week. All the politics left in and all the West Ham stuff left out. If this is a subtle hint from the paper they want me to take a job in Beirut, no thanks.

THIS is getting seriously creepy now. It’s weird enough that Arsenal are repeating our 2004/05 moment for moment. Local rivals in fourth, crossing every finger hoping you fail every round.