Volume turned up to 10 in classic derby

When Alex Ferguson memorably described Manchester City as “noisy neighbours” he suggested the best way to silence them was by turning your TV on a bit louder.

Today at the Etihad Stadium, Manchester United rocked up with their own sound system, complete with amplifiers, and turned it on full blast.

It is a measure of the power those neighbours now exert that they did not flinch in response.

The result was a match of awesome power, the equal of any spectacle in this mad, bizarre season, that ended with both teams receiving standing ovations. And quite right too.

One of English football’s most well-worn cliches is that you should never write United off.

This is why.

Backs rammed up against the wall following two successive defeats, travelling away to opponents who now top the Barclays Premier League and who beat them 6-1 at Old Trafford in October, the backdrop to this fixture for United was as gloomy as the skies it was played under.

Yet their followers, who included David Beckham, knew Ferguson was capable of springing a surprise.

And boy, did he come up with one.

On the face of it, announcing the signing of a 37-year-old who had not played a competitive game since May is not much of a positive.

But this 37-year-old was Paul Scholes, scorer of United’s last winning goal on this ground.

There will be plenty who feel it is the act of a desperate man.

However, if it sounded plausible to sign Frank Lampard, 33, on a longer contract than the 18 months he presently has left on his deal with Chelsea, why not Scholes, who has been a constant presence at United’s Carrington training complex in his role as reserve-team assistant coach.

Just as importantly, as news of Scholes’ presence on the bench filtered through to the visiting fans, it fuelled an additional sense of belief.

It was then that Ferguson reached for the volume button.

By half-time, so joyous were the United contingent that on-loan striker Federico Macheda was Tweeting about the potential for a 10-0 win, Gary Neville claiming the overall aggregate score this season was down to 6-4, with the gap closing fast.

Just as at Old Trafford, a red card skewed the game.

Just as at Old Trafford, it might end up being forgotten.

In days of old, Vincent Kompany would have avoided dismissal on the sane basis that he did not make contact with his opponent.

However, under Sepp Blatter’s watch, FIFA have moved away from thunderous challenges and towards maximum protection for the artisans.

Kompany was committed. He meant to do no harm. But studs were showing with both feet and he slid in. In Sepp’s world, that equals red.

The last time referee Chris Foy sent someone off in a high-profile game, Olympic cycling star Chris Hoy was randomly abused. Best not to look at Twitter for a while yet then.

As at Old Trafford, when the dismissal came, the visitors were already ahead.

On Friday night, Wayne Rooney was the central figure in what surely was a world first.

A newspaper story was played out in public, to its conclusion, before anyone actually read it in print form.

The report was “nonsense” according to a joint statement from the club and the player. Rooney doesn’t want to go anywhere. He said that himself.

And, if anyone was in any doubt, he ran away holding his badge in celebration at the opening goal, after rising above Nigel de Jong to meet Antonio Valencia’s cross.

It was the first of what could turn out to be many examples of Yaya Toure being missed.

Ferguson had, of course, on Friday raised the possibility of City boss Roberto Mancini pulling a fast one by naming the Ivorian in his starting line-up.

Instead, Chris Smalling was the surprise. According to his manager, the England defender has not even started training yet.

As City struggled to cope without Kompany, United took full command.

Welbeck hooked home a second, Rooney nodded in a third after having a penalty saved.

Cue all those jovial United half-time opinions.

Yet the problem with noisy neighbours is that they actually quite like the decibel level high.

By the time Aleksandar Kolarov had rasped home a brutal free-kick and Sergio Aguero had heralded Scholes’ arrival by punishing the veteran’s mistake, the din was so great there was no point trying to think.

The arrival of Owen Hargreaves, for Samir Nasri, 10 minutes from time, just added another twist to a story JK Rowling would struggle to make up.

In the last minute of injury-time, Kolarov had a chance to snatch a draw.

That would have been too much for the Ministry of Sound.