TERRACE TALK: Man United - Looking strong as Jose Mourinho learning to bench press

In another of our occasional series ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey José’, let’s take a peek at substitution fetishisation. (Oo-er.) Now there’s a phrase you won’t be used to seeing, not least because I just invented it.

Stat-crunching types of modern nerd-fans place an inordinately huge store in the managerial act of changing players mid-match.

It’s become a key indicator of a manager’s real worth, an ‘in-play’ test of whether he really knows what he’s doing or not. Early doors, Van Loony and Poor David were deemed to have been failures at it; and yes, even Alex was not seen as unimpeachable on the subject.