TERRACE TALK: Zlatan and the Armenian steal Rooney’s thunder

“Let’s open a cracker . ‘Twas Christmas in Manchester, and the excited youngsters were hoping for something special from that tubby old man in red white and black - the one the adults no longer believe in.

But unfortunately for Santa Rooney, his thunder was thoroughly stolen by Zlatan and The Armenian...

Wayne doesn’t appear to be laughing at that one, so let’s move on. He’ll now just have to put ‘breaking Bobby’s record’ onto his New Year’s Resolutions List and hope for the best. He must pray he does better on that one than he used to do when trying to give up smoking.