TERRACE TALK: Man United - Amid the boredom, at least we saw a goal

“No doubt as to the United fans’ hit chant of the autumn so far, then: “Attack, attack, attack!”

Louis Van Gaal appeared to complain about this midweek, prompting one embittered colleague to respond: “Pfft: he’s lucky it’s not ‘asleep, asleep, asleep’...”

Our beleaguered manager then amused us further by seeming to blame Paul Scholes for this latest terrace ditty, suggesting he had “influenced” us with his recent criticism. Which would be a viable analysis, had not the chanting preceded Scholesy’s now legendary outburst by a good two weeks.