For the record: A year of football in nonsensical quotes
“Don’t throw the baby out with the dishwater.”
“The sky is the limit for Jamie Paterson as long as we keep his feet on the ground.”
“You can’t put the horse before the cart.”
“Our Achilles heel came back to bite us.”
“Everton are now hitting the ropes running.”
“Not many players get three cracks of the cherry.”
“They’re not flying on all cylinders.”
“I don’t want to stir up a can of worms.”
“Arsenal have the wind in their sails and they need to put their foot to the floor.”
“They lack the cherry on the cake to unlock the door.”
“You’d have put your kitchen sink on Hernandez to score there.”
“Ozil is almost balleric in his movement.”
“All kinds of calamatory in the Forest defence.”
“He can’t take it because we’ve out-tacticed him.”
“The way the boys have applicated themselves at training...”
“Swansea are defending very astoutly.”
“Stuart Kettlewell sent off for Ross County – he probably boiled over.”
“Joe Lolley giving Salisbury a licking with all three goals.”
“Ryan Stevenson has been sent off. He’ll get a rocket for that.”
“Paul Currie got the first, Lee Currie has got the second. Both on hot streaks.”
“Sammy Clingan with the second goal. Out of this world.”
“Dean Parrett with the goal. His first in two years. I’ll just repeat that. His first in two years. Dean Parrett.”
“Scott Leather’s been sent off. That’ll be hell for Leather.”
“I don’t think if you saw the game on chances and took their goal away, you would think it was an away win.”
“If it wasn’t for Hart’s save, the goal would have counted.”
“We dealt with everything they threw at us, apart from the three goals we conceded.”
“If Australia had scored a couple more, it would have been a very different result.”
“Ward has to score... put his name in headlights.”
“Nasri nutmegged his French contingent, Gouffran.”
“United need to start garnishing some points.”
“I went through a decapitated West Ham squad.”
It’s got a massive attachment area, Newcastle.”
“A highly contagious decision.”
“Luis Suarez uses both sets of feet.”
“I was born and bred in Coventry. I played for the club as well, so that’s where my liaisons lie.”
“Their spark has run out of a little bit of steam.”
“Are there fractions in the Manchester United dressing room?”
“It goes in like an exorcist.”
“It’s all happened in one foul swoop.”
“The players are always greeted with such velocity here at Old Trafford.”
“You need the harmony in the dressing room to be pointing the same way.”
“Pellegrini will speak to them and City will come out with a fresh set of impetus.”
“The half-time whistle came right on the stroke of half time.”
“Arsenal have no width out wide.”
“I’m aging by the day.”
“He’s still young, but he’s getting older every year.”
“A penalty shootout can be a hit and miss affair.”
“You want your team to be better than they were the following year.”
“I once remember the old Bayern Munich manager taking a two-hour session for 90 minutes.”
“Wenger and Mourinho were acting like a couple of teenage 12-year-olds.”
“I would be a much quicker and harsher judge of Raheem Sterling in five years’ time when he has had four more years’ experience.”
“I think one day the African teams will win it. I don’t know when, but it’ll be in the future…”
“Three words... Yaya Toure.”
“Is it offside? We’re talking millilitres.”
“It’s missed my forearm by a millimetre but it’s a game of inches.”
“...inexperienced back-three pairing.”
“He hits it first time with his second touch.”
“Our poll has been unanimous so far: 81% of you think Loic Remy should go to Arsenal ahead of Chelsea.”
“I would say it was 50-50… six times out of 10 they’re probably given.”
“Steve Davis has been ever-present under O’Neill. He’s played 19 of the 20 games.”
“Six inches – that’s a yard isn’t it?”
“It’s the old adage; if Lansbury’s anywhere else on the pitch, he’s probably not going to fall.”
“There’s an old saying and it applies to rugby as well: ‘A fit player with less ability is better than an unfit player with lots of ability’.”
“It’s that old adage where you score a goal and concede one soon after.”
“Don’t do your dirty laundry out where we can all read.”
“As the old football saying goes; if you’re on top in a game you have to embroider it with a goal.”
“I spoke to Rene before the game; he said conceding goals and scoring goals are the most important thing in the Premier League.”
“I think goals are important this season.”
“You need to win football matches. If you don’t win, get a point.”
“It’s very important to win the must-win games.”
“The only way to beat Liverpool is to score more goals than them.”
“West Brom have won a few late points… do those points help or hinder them... I think they help them.”
“Everyone who wants to win it has to finish above Chelsea, for me.”
“He opens his legs and he’s a big, big man.”
“I’d love to be inside Arsene Wenger.”
“There’s a drum here and I’d like to bang the guy who’s banging it.”
“Mata... I’m a lover of his.”
“He reminds me of Gareth Bale when he opens his legs.”
“You’ve got women working in the kitchen every day for the entire season, giving you pleasure.”
“A match-winning save by the Hereford keeper – that could earn his team a point.”
“That’s the first header Walcott has scored with his head.”
“He’s already made two changes, so he hasn’t got many left.”
“I’ve always said; good teams tend to get results.”
“All square apart from the scoreline.”
“It was a naive, cynical penalty.”
“I know they’ve lost their best striker and best defender, but Brazil are a team full of internationals.”
“He’s small and has got a low sense of trajectory.”
“Gnabry’s got a stocky build and a low sense of gravity.”
“Up next, we’ve a tribute to the immortal Eusebio. When I say he’s immortal, he’s obviously no longer with us.”
“I was there for a little while as a Cottager… that’s as a player.”
“Ryan Giggs will assume responsibility for first-team affairs at Man United.”
“There was total silence from Old Trafford, which means the alarm bells were ringing.”
“Sterling didn’t hesitate, he just waited for the challenge...”
“He lived with his mum up until the day he was sold for 40 million and four older sisters.”
“And in the other dugout, the Croatia manager looks like he’s just stepped off a catwalk model.”
“He’s 32 years married tomorrow, Jeff. He was playing for Gillingham versus Newport at the time.”
“I don’t know whether we deserved to win, but we deserved the win.”
“My ex-father was a Man City supporter.”
“You cut him open, he’s probably yellow.”
“I don’t think you should put too much pressure on psychologists.”
“It’s an end-to-end game, but I have to say it’s all Southampton.”
“If you cut me in half, I’m a footballer.”
“Danny Welbeck is unique. He reminds me very much of Darius Vassell.”
“Joachim Low just stood on the sidelines, arms folded and hands in his pockets.”
“He’s always been a goalscorer but not a scorer of goals.”
“Chelsea are content to attack when they have the ball.”
“Their never-say-die attitude is so admirable. I mean, some of those lads are dying on their feet.”
CONNECT WITH US TODAY
Be the first to know the latest news and updates
