Sound of silence provides no solace

PSST. Should I be talking to you? As you may have noticed, Old Trafford is in total locutory lock down.

To much public amusement, not a word has escaped our collective lips since the match – on Fergie’s insistence – and even though I am not a United employee, I feel uncomfortable breaching the Red omerta. Will I awake with a horse’s head in the bed, perhaps from one of the Rock’s less successful and therefore expendable offspring? (Frankly, I’d prefer it if it were Carrick’s head, but he’s unaccountably been allowed to sign a new deal).

Still, what an excellent excuse this is not to discuss the Anfield horror show. So let’s move on. Nothing to see here.