Man in the mirror won’t take Ronaldo to Old Trafford

At a time when the world seems to be having a nervous breakdown it’s very reassuring to note that Cristiano Ronaldo has over 53 million followers on Twitter. People still take the time to read and educate themselves.

Because he is CR7 and more famous than Jesus and Muhammad put together Cristiano’s Twitter account doesn’t include one of those staccato 160-word bios that ordinary mortals have to sweat over. (Footballer. Humanitarian. Philanthropist. Intellectual. Adonis, mine says.) but if he ever feels the need to fill in the blanks may I suggest the following: Cristiano Ronaldo. One chimp short of being football’s Michael Jackson.

It’s easy to be cynical about CR7 but I’ll confess that I’m thinking of brazenly stealing the CR7 template for my own Twitter account. For too long now I’ve been busting my brain coming up with pithy observations on the world of football all of which, frankly, go right over the heads of my loyal followers. From now on I’m Tweeting in the Cristiano style. Me eating pie. Me drinking beer. Me wearing jocks.