Could be out of jail for Italy game, mam!

Hi Mam, How is everybody at home? Just a quick note to make sure you got my Conor McGregor duvet cover washed, like I asked. And to ask you to get in touch with the Department of Foreign Affairs for us when you get the time.

No, no, it’s not what you think. I know this letter’s coming from the Bordeaux jail, but I can explain everything. All a misunderstanding, pure and simple.

We were all on the beer in the middle of town, see, and after only singing Wonderwall 88 times the people in the cafe asked if we could sing the 89th version outside on the road, maybe. We know we have a reputation to live up to.