ARSENE WENGER has defended his gamble not to make a significant investment in new players this season by insisting his current Arsenal squad should have been good enough to win the title.

RIO FERDINAND is in pole position to retain his place in the England side for today's friendly against Argentina - keeping Sol Campbell out of the team.

SINCE these troubled times for Manchester United and - to judge by the wall-to-wall news coverage - the whole world as we know it, this column feels duty-bound to try and cheer people up with a good, old-fashioned gag.

JOHN O’SHEA is refusing to concede the Premiership title to Arsenal.

IT’S not the first time I’ve said this but thank goodness for Manchester United’s ability to produce off pitch interest when the on-pitch entertainment value drops to zero.

ALEX FERGUSON has branded Tal Ben Haim a disgrace and claimed the furore surrounding Wayne Rooney should not be allowed to mask the Bolton defender’s attempt to get the England striker sent off.

MANCHESTER UNITED captain Roy Keane will set a modern era record of six FA Cup final appearances when he leads his side out against Millwall on Saturday.

CHELSEA assistant boss Steve Clarke hit back at Arsene Wenger’s attack on the Blues’ style of play by insisting that his side are entertaining the Premiership — as well as being poised to win it.

SUNDERLAND striker Stephen Elliott is gunning for Arsenal tonight after grabbing his third goal in four games.

Man Utd 1 Basle 1

ROY KEANE will return to training in a fortnight with the Manchester United skipper set for his playing comeback ''within a month'', Football Association inquiries permitting.

RIO FERDINAND insists Manchester United boss Alex Ferguson “will not bat an eyelid” about pairing youngsters Wes Brown and John O’Shea at the heart of his defence against FC Basel tonight.

Liverpool 0 Man Utd 0

WES BROWN could be the biggest loser initially but the biggest winner in the long run from his buddy Rio Ferdinand's record £30 million move to Manchester United.

ALEX FERGUSON celebrates his 64th birthday today insisting he relishes the job of managing Manchester United as much as ever.

THIERRY HENRY vowed to lead Arsenal into the knock-out stages of the Champions League as he rounded on his critics and insisted: “I am not a machine.”

ALEX FERGUSON has hailed Manchester United’s behaviour in their powderkeg clashes with Arsenal as ‘almost perfect’.

TOTTENHAM striker Robbie Keane hopes his namesake Roy will be back in the Republic of Ireland fold in time for their next Euro 2004 qualifier against Georgia in March.

RELEGATED West Ham announced yesterday that they are releasing 10 senior players, including Paolo di Canio, Lee Bowyer, Gary Breen and Nigel Winterburn.

OLD TRAFFORD legend Bryan Robson believes Alex Ferguson may have to look at taking the captain's armband off Roy Keane if the former Republic skipper finds himself embroiled in more controversy.