Animals must endure too much cock-and-bull

I WAS shocked that saintly socialist Joe Higgins, while berating the sheep on the Government backbenches, should have the vicious slur of kebabs served - sorry, thrown - in his direction by that snide Conor Lenihan.

While this was happening, Justice Minister Michael McDowell was complaining that bogus refugees were using cock-and-bull stories.

As chairperson of Animal Supporters Surviving Hope Offering Life Expectancy (ASSHOLE), I nearly choked on my lamb chop (the kebab was off) as I listened to the appalling attacks on these poor defenceless animals (no, not the politicians).

I am calling on these overpaid, whinging, political fat-cats (oops, sorry!) to desist from using these animals (bulls, cocks, sheep, etc) as scapegoats (oops, sorry again!) in their petty arguments.

I was relieved to hear that snide Conor was forgiven by Bishop Dermot (Ahern) following his “contrite” apology. His penance was to have a dodgy kebab after a few dodgy pints.

This whole experience would flush everything out into the open. There is no truth in the scurrilous rumour that dessert was a slice of Turkish Delight.

Sean O’Kelly

Newtown

Tramore

Co Waterford

PS: Has anybody heard the first cuckoo yet?