Rory Hearne: Millennials feel infantilised, frustrated and rightfully angry

The Irish State used to provide decent-sized affordable homes to young people so they could live independent fulfilling lives and giving this country a future. Now we must do it again, writes Rory Hearne

Of course, there are benefits and joys of living with your parents, the time spent together and money saved, but there’s also increased tension in the parent-adult child relationship. File photo: iStock

Many millennials in their 20s and 30s are spending this Christmas with their parents, but they’re not just visiting, they live there all year round. 

It’s not out of choice but because they are locked out of the housing market.  Millennials want to be in a home of their own, bringing their parents to visit them, rather than relying on mum and dad for a roof over their head.  They feel infantilised, frustrated, depressed, and rightfully angry, at the unfairness.

Their parent’s generation had a forever home by their mid-20s but because successive Governments have failed to deliver affordable properties, millennials are stuck at home, lives on hold, a stalled generation. 

Of course, there are benefits and joys of living with your parents, the time spent together and money saved, but there’s also increased tension in the parent-adult child relationship. Moving out of the family home is a key life step to achieving independence. 

Ireland now has a relatively late age when young people leave home. It’s above the EU average, at 26.8 years, compared to 24.6 in the UK and 17.8 in Sweden. 

The housing crisis is also worsening mental health by removing control over your own life. It is one of the three basic psychological needs required for well-being. 

Being in your late 20s, 30s and even 40s, and still stuck living in a parents' box room, has negative consequences for wellbeing by delaying the transition to adulthood, impacting on independence, self-esteem, identity, and leading to anxiety about the future.

The sheer number of adults living at home with their parents is staggering. There were 458,874 adults aged 18 and over living with a parent at the 2016 census — 350,000 aged 18 to 29, and 100,000 aged 30 to 49.  A quarter of a million adults are in employment and still living with their parents.

The latest Growing Up in Ireland study found that access to housing was the greatest concern for young adults aged 20. The majority were still living at home with their parents, with 70% doing so because of financial reasons.

Among 21- to 30-year-olds living at home with their parents, an overwhelming 93% would prefer to be living separately from them. Most feel their parents won’t treat them as an adult until they move out, they haven’t independence and 75% of female 21- to 30-year-olds living at home said they do not have enough privacy.

Having romantic relationships while living at home with your parents is a real challenge. Many young people in long-term relationships want to be able to live together but cannot because of housing costs.

Growing Up in Ireland pointed to “an upper limit on how long parents and their adult children are content with the arrangement.” 

They questioned at what point “there will be increased pressure on young adults to find independent accommodation” and what will be “the consequences for everyone if they cannot find something suitable or affordable”. 

Inequalities

It suggests many in their mid-twenties will be looking for accommodation suitable for couples rather than single-person apartments or sharing with roommates. That’s an important point given the current emphasis on single accommodation. 

Children require having more than one bedroom and a long-term secure home. The Irish rental system doesn’t give that. Younger people who don't feel secure in their living arrangements are delaying having children, or won't have them at all.

The transition to full independence in terms of moving out of home is being delayed for many young adults, which has financial consequences for parents facing retirement, for one-parent families or those with multiple children.

Every young adult in this country should have an equal chance to thrive, but variations in household income, parental resources and education, result in inequalities. 

A dependency on parents can lead to marginalisation. For instance, those who identify as LBGTI+ tend to be at increased risk of mental health difficulties, as well as homelessness and family rejection.

The housing crisis exacerbates inequalities. 43% of the lowest income decile experienced two or more types of deprivation in 2020, while just 2% of the top 20% experienced deprivation. 

It's no surprise that the bank of mum and dad is much bigger in wealthy households and young adults from higher-income backgrounds are more likely to be living independently.

Increasingly locked out millennials are taking action. 

They formed a new community action tenants union, CATU, to highlight their issues. Historically, art has inspired major cultural and social change and now young Irish artists are turning to housing.

A 29-year-old Limerick musician Chip McCoy released an impactful song highlighting the juxtaposition between millennials unable to afford to move out of home and huge numbers of vacant and derelict buildings. 

The song is titled “Please don’t make me go home for Christmas”, because they can’t afford the rent to live anywhere else, and going home should be a choice. 

The lyrics are about Limerick: 

This city used to be a lady, From her brick foundation up, Now blemished by abandoned blocks, It looks like she’s had enough, I see the shells of buildings, And in their shadows see shelled millennials, Early thirties and they’re wilting. 

Siobhan O Connor, 23, originally from Tralee, and a former UCC student has created a powerful dance piece on the “suffocation” caused by the housing crisis. 

She says millennials “do not want a co-living space, shared twin room, a cabin in our parent’s back garden or a poxy studio apartment where your oven is in your bed”. 

She’s worried the “future of Ireland is once again emigrating” and, for her, the most important conversation is whether Ireland “will be a permanent dystopia of extortionate and insecure housing or will we reclaim our power and voice back.” 

There is hope in this energy of young people demanding the housing crisis is solved. Their ideas should be brought into the discussion and policy. Young adult conventions on the housing crisis should be held across the country to generate their ideas and find ways to get young people actively involved. 

Through State funding and providing affordable homes on the huge amount of public land and CPOing and taxing derelict and vacant property across our towns and cities to bring them into use as homes, we can give our young people a future. 

Where they can look forward to living independent fulfilling lives, having families if they wish, and giving this country a future. 

Providing a decent-sized affordable home where they want to live is essential to that. The Irish State did it in the past, we must do it again.

• Rory Hearne is Assistant Professor in Social Policy at Maynooth University