Love of our kids must be oblivious to success

Is parenting heading towards merit-based love, where tiny glances of approval and disapproval generate enormous internal pressure? If so, then it could have a disastrous impact on the lives of our children. David Brooks reports.

There are two great defining features of child-rearing today. First, children are now praised to an unprecedented degree. As Dorothy Parker once joked, children aren’t raised; they are incited. They are given food, shelter, and applause. That’s a thousand times more true today. Children are incessantly told how special they are.

The second defining feature is that children are honed to an unprecedented degree. The meritocracy is more competitive than ever before.