Farming special - Day 3: Seanad gate shenanigans and Blessed Micheál of Ballinlough

Mud-slinging and auction politics eclipsed the more traditional sports at the National Ploughing Championships yesterday.

Despite Indian summer sunshine hardening the ground, Tánaiste Joan Burton was left delicately trying to avoid getting a heel caught in the trail of political cow-dung left in the wake of Enda Kenny’s Seanad-packing shenanigans.

And as the Tánaiste weaved her way through the temporary tent city of the festival, Fianna Fáil’s Micheál Martin was on hand, in a seemingly never-ending state of shock around every corner, permanently appalled that any government could even contemplate behaving in such a way.

Mr Martin recently accused the Taoiseach of ripping off Fianna Fáil’s blueprint for economic recovery, but maybe Mr Kenny should have devoted his study instead to the ‘FF Guide to Stroke Politics’, as they really wrote the book on the subject.

But Ms Burton was attempting to rise above the

unpleasant stench from the Seanad, insisting it was all Enda’s mess and nothing to do with her as she toured the stalls to a rapturous reception.

Labour does not tend to do very well down the country, so perhaps the visit to the Gay and Lesbian Equality Network stand was a chance to tap into one of its natural constituencies whilst out of town.

Musing on the plight of gay farmers, Ms Burton said: “They can be very isolated in rural Ireland,” — just like Labour TDs in fact then.

After that, it was a sharp right turn to the ICA tent as Ms Burton beamed: “Ahh, Boot Camp!” in reference to the TV show where traditional domestic skills are honed.

After a quick marvel at the delights of butter-making, Ms Burton was heading to her next gig, but not before being caught up in a rather slippery publicity pitch by an online booking agency.

The salesman handed the Tánaiste a raft of vouchers entitling the bearer to a BOGOF — buy one get one free — night in a hotel as he implored her to give them away as she walked.

Rather than be accused of trying to buy votes, Ms Burton’s handlers clearly wanted the publicity stunter to himself bog-off as one of the Tánaiste’s party said: “Maybe if we all hand them out, it won’t look so bad?”

Mr Martin’s people were also handing things out, but these were of a slightly more vainglorious nature.

The Fianna Fáil leader was also receiving a warm hearing from onlookers, so it was perhaps unnecessary for flunkies to give people postcards depicting Mr Martin in that striking Barack Obama pose, with reds and blues fading into each other as he strikes a commanding pose.

Mr Martin recently felt the need to inform the nation that he was preparing himself to be taoiseach, so was this another facet of an attempted cult of personality, as Fianna Fáil activists handed out pencils with the Obama rip-off cards so that people could emerge spontaneously from the crowd and seek Mr Martin’s autograph? It all left us wondering what the real Barack’s slogan for the ploughing festival would be — “Yes, we lamb!”