Women, children foot the bill

With the economy sinking faster than the Titanic, Captain Noonan issued the immortal order: “Women and children first!” — but, sadly, he meant first into the financial firing line, not the economic life boats.

And so his masterplan for saving high income earners from a greater tax take was revealed: soak the mums and rob the kids.

The only reason Mr Noonan did not sound clapped-out was because no one bothered to applaud at all.