Terry Prone: The cats don’t care, but me and the hedgehog are thoroughly alarmed

‘If a hedgehog as much as farts in the garden, spotlights come on from high up on my Martello tower.’ Picture: iStock
If it weren’t for the insurance company, I wouldn’t have an alarm system at all, because I have nothing worth stealing. Even the television is 16 years old. But when an insurance company tells you that, absent an alarm, you’re on your own in the risk department, you get an alarm. In my case, the alarm is a bells-and-whistles job.
If a hedgehog as much as farts in the garden, spotlights come on from high up on my Martello tower, and if, embarrassed, the hedgehog tries to get out of the bright light, just as he (or she) hits the dark space, another spotlight comes on. It’s like a film premiere, out there at night. When the two cats go out of doors and find themselves spotlit, they are totally unsurprised and behave as if it’s the least they deserve.
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