Joyce Fegan: Parents and teachers are doing their best. But how are our  children coping?

A study found more than half of those interviewed believed children had borne the brunt of Covid-19 and 80% said social isolation was a major factor.

Children and teenagers have no real voice in public life. They are not politicians, or business owners, they're not members of interest groups and they aren't interviewed on the radio or in the paper. They rarely mount campaigns and hold press conferences and gain media attention over an issue.

While we hear about their issues, we rarely hear from them.

While parents can express stress and frustration over homeschooling and working, how are our children feeling and coping?

Several things this week shone a light into how our young people might be doing.

In the aftermath of the tragic death of the "happy" and "caring" 16-year-old Josh Dunne in Dublin, it emerged that he had been missing his normal life.

Gerry Reddy, the assistant manager at Josh's football club, told RTÉ radio's News at One how the teenager's mother, Dianne, had phoned the manager, Mark Tierney, two weeks ago to see if there was any alternative for the cancelled training.

“She knew there was no training, but was there anything else we could do because he was just around the house all the time and going off on his bike, he was just bored silly, absolutely bored. But there's nothing we could do with all the restrictions," said Mr Reddy.

This comment is a reminder of what the day-to-day life of our teenagers is like. All of their outlets have been taken from them. While an adult might cherish a walk around the block with a friend and €3 coffee, chances are that wouldn't be a typical teenager's cup of tea, nor would their budget stretch to such an outlet.

In a study published this week, covering children in all-but-two counties around Ireland, and interviewing children ranging in age from four to 18, it found that our young people were bearing "the brunt" of the pandemic.

“My conclusion is that children have borne the brunt of this," one parent told the researchers. According to the study: "Children were socially withdrawn and socially isolated — and parents said that children felt it much more than adults due to their lack of fluidity with digital means of communication."

A total of 94 people were interviewed, including 45 children, for the study which is called A Qualitative Study of Child and Adolescent Mental Health during the COVID-19 Pandemic in Ireland.

More than half those interviewed believed children had borne the brunt of Covid-19 and 80% said social isolation was a major factor.

Negative behavioural changes, the difficulty of being confined in the household, and depression and anxiety were among other issues that were raised in the study.

"There were so many projects, nearly there was one project every week and then there was like every single subject on the thing and like she’s getting us to do like so much," said one 11-year-old about homeschooling.

Some parents also described their children as struggling with the enormity of the pandemic.

One major positive, and this has been borne out in NHS studies on mental health, is that young people were more open than adults when it comes to talking about how they're feeling.

This openness is an asset we should make the most of, and learn from as adults.

The study aside, these are some things I hear from friends about how their children are coping.

Some parents say their children struggle majorly on Zoom class time. They either find the virtual communication odd and do not want to engage, or else they're disappointed that they aren't picked to engage and answer a question. They are not au fait with the restraints of digital communication where normal social cues do not apply.

Parents of younger pre-school children remark on their kids' behaviour, that it has "regressed" or that they are seeking out a lot more connection from a parent who is trying to homeschool or care for another child as well as work and run a home.

"How many more sleeps until coronavirus ends?" is one question I've heard a four-year-old girl ask.

These are not normal times. And yet parents are trying to maintain a sense of normality for their children, so are the Government, and so are teachers.

But these are not normal times, and maybe we should stop trying to maintain a sense of normality and check in with our children

Play is the language of children and how they learn, and in the midst of our stress over homeschooling and assignments and emails and what-not, why don't our politicians get down to our kids' level and see how they're finding all of this?

They are the ones doing the learning and receiving the teaching, is it working for them? They're the ones with the young, open, creative minds, maybe they have something to teach us, maybe they have some suggestions on how we can tweak our approach to this pandemic.

For some homeschooling gives them a shape to their day, a goal, a structure, for others it's a chance to connect with a grandmother who is giving Irish lessons over Zoom, and for many it's a major source of stress.

While education is of vital importance, it is a global route out of poverty, during a pandemic maybe we should revise our latest strategy so that it works for both children and parents.

In an article in this newspaper this week by Niamh Griffin, it was reported that people are finding this lockdown harder than the previous two. She spoke with therapists in Cork and Kerry who explained that the "urgency of fear" we felt last March has now been replaced by sadness — something that can be much harder to deal with.

The therapists said that the chain of lockdowns have led to an increased sense of "despondency" as "people dread weeks more of isolation".

These are not normal times.

Parents are under an inordinate amount of pressure to both work and do right by their children. We should be doing everything to support them as they take on this mammoth task of being both teacher, principal, friend and parent. And we should ask children is this working for you? And if not, what would? We've so much to learn from kids.