'Trying to parent in lockdown is a big ask – it's overwhelming when you are your child's carer too'

Liz Kyte with her six-year-old daughter Evie who has Down syndrome and her 11 -year-old son Matthew, who is on autism spectrum at their home in Glasheen, Cork. Picture: Dan Linehan

On Saturday, Dr Liz Kyte sat down at her computer to write about her family’s experiences of the pandemic at their home in Glasheen, Cork. 

“I was interrupted before I had typed the first sentence," she said.

Her daughter Evie Leahy, six, has Down syndrome, and her son Matthew, 11, is on the autism spectrum. Last March as the schools closed, her children's therapies were also put on hold. This left her and her husband, who were both lecturing, "shell-shocked", attempting to provide special education and speech and occupational therapies to their children, while also trying to take care of their own students.  

This time around, she was relieved to see the Ombudsman and other groups like Inclusion Ireland, AsIAm, and Down Syndrome Ireland advocate for children with additional needs. 

“Trying to parent during a lockdown, and homeschool your children during a pandemic is a big ask anyway. It's overwhelming when you are also your child’s carer too." 

The back-and-forth about the reopening of special schools and classes the last two weeks brought up a range of feelings. 

“It made me realise that we never even thought to ask for special education during the first school closure, we were just getting by,” she said. 

We’re in a situation now where this lockdown is set to go on, and it’s just overwhelming. I don’t think it's reasonable in any kind of just society to expect families to have to deal with it.

"I think there’s been a narrow approach to this, which is all about reopening school buildings and face-to-face teaching. It doesn’t necessarily have to be like that, it could be more inventive."

Liz Kyte: 'If we had more SNAs in the first place, and more SEN resources we wouldn’t be in the situation where we are now right now, in a pandemic trying to scramble together some sort of support.' Picture Dan Linehan

One-to-one home tuition could be provided, even virtually in some cases, she added. 

“It doesn’t need to be about safety versus special education. We could achieve all of those things if we were willing to put more resources in and to think a bit more broadly and unite around one goal.

“I think if we had more SNAs in the first place, and more SEN resources we wouldn’t be in the situation where we are now right now, in a pandemic trying to scramble together some sort of support.” 

An 'all-in-or-all-out approach to school is not useful to anyone, she added.  

Lucy Cronin lives in Youghal with her twin boys Sean and Killian, who have autism. Sean attends school in Dungarvan, Waterford, and Killian attends school in Cork city. Both avail of school transport to get them there.

“I worked it out and if I send both of them to school, it would bring 26 contacts into our circle,” she said. 

Lucy has two close family members who are high-risk. 

Her sons have different needs: while both found the school closures last year difficult, Sean found the loss of routine harder. Both find remote learning difficult.

The schools are fantastic with the support they are sending home but it’s just much harder to get them to engage with it. It’s very hard here at the moment, the weekend was just constant screaming but I still wouldn’t like to put them at risk.” 

Last summer, the family availed of home tuition. 

“That was fantastic because the one teacher came every day. She spent two and a half hours with Sean, and then the same with Killian.

“It's such a tricky situation. There are school staff who have people at home who have serious health conditions as well. I wouldn’t begrudge anyone who wanted to send their child in, I wouldn’t judge anyone. Everybody knows what the right decision is for their family.”

Nicole Duggan lives in Glanmire with her son Riley, seven, who has autism. 

“I don’t have a worry about him with remote learning but I’m one of the lucky ones," she said.

“I can see it from both sides, I completely see it from the SNAs and teachers' point of view as well. 

A lot of the blame is being placed on teachers and SNAs when in reality they were thrown into a big mess, just like us.

“We need to keep the relationships going between teachers and SNAs and parents. The reality is when schools do reopen, the transition is going to be hard, we’re going to have to work together. This is about the kids at the end of the day, not about fighting between adults.

“If schools are going to stay closed, they need to start talking about the provisions they will put in place for families. We don’t know what that’s going to look like but people are struggling, majorly.”