There’s nothing so depressing as boasting about something you used to do that you can’t anymore

Home, Tuesday, 7pm, and my daughter is unsettled to discover, that, at 23 years of age, she’s lost the ability to do the splits.

“It’s kind of disconcerting,” she says, extending her right leg and lowering herself gracefully to the kitchen floor.

“I didn’t know ageing started so young.”