You need to learn lots of songs if you're expecting a baby

Are ye all sorted?” people asked us before the birth. We thought we had it all sorted: The clothes, the nappies, the various baby-shaped containers. But what we didn’t have was enough songs.

Most of us stop singing after a while. I mean, we all sing, but not the whole song, just bits and pieces. Some people will learn all of Adele’s song, maybe murder it on an X Factor audition. The rest of us will sing “Hello” and tum-ti-tum the rest.

With a new baby, it’s handy to have full songs. Technically you don’t have to have all the words. The baby’s not going to know. You could cheat and just make everything about nappies. Adele’s chartbuster could easily become “Hello. How are ya? I heard you did a poo and I know just what to do”. But having the full lyrics keeps you committed and focused during those times of emergency serenading when you have to try and persuade the baby not to change supplier.