Why tell the thieves what gardaí plan to do?

Do you ever wake up and feel as though you are in cuckoo land or worse still in Disneyland?

Well, I do. I woke this morning to the fantasy news that our fairytale government is to dispatch a special squad to safeguard our country cousins from our rampaging thieving magpies.

Announcing your intention to your enemy is real Monty Python stuff. I must admit, the government has some high quality comedy scriptwriters on their books to come up with this one.

The first thing these gangs will do is to stay at home, read their comics or count their ill gotten gains and allow the gardaí to run about the countryside like headless chickens looking for gangs that are lying low.

Surely, our gardaí deserve more respect than to be led down a yellow brick road by vaudeville politicians. I think I’ll do what I always do when these surreal episodes descend on me. I’ll turn over, go to sleep and dream of better things.

Jim Yates

Old Bawn

Dublin