Colm O’Regan talks about talks

I’m reading a self-help book: Crucial Conversations — Tools For Talking When The Stakes Are High. It’s the archetypal business management book.

The cover has the type of serifed typeface you associate with books for people who work hard and play hard, and who get all their daily Vitamin C content in just one handy capsule which they knock back before running to catch a commuter train or coming up with a good idea in a meeting. Normally I hate self-help books because they require me to do something. But my negotiating abilities need some assistance.

I can’t even negotiate with myself. Each morning sees a battle between the two Colms who currently work at OReganTec. The Colm 1 a go-ahead change management specialist, is looking to implement a programme of constant improvement and drive efficiencies through initiatives — like getting out of bed when the alarm goes off. But to get anything done he’ll need to convince The Colm 2 who works in Operations. He is a wiley oldtimer who has been with the company from the beginning, is unwilling to change and knows every trick in the book in order to avoid initiatives.

Every morning it’s the same thing — Colm 1 is saying, “Ok people let’s go. Time to implement the new strategy” Colm 2 pretends to agree: “I understand you would like to get up early. But this is a labour relations issue, we’ll need to put this to a vote. I tell you what. In the meantime, why don’t we have a snooze? ”

In my mind’s eye I see myself as the person who stands toe to toe with the shopkeeper. Indulging in good natured banter, pretending to walk away before eventually being called back by the trader who realises he’s dealing with a pro. The reality is far more limp. I bought some chairs recently. The conversation went like this.

How much for the 4 chairs?

€200

Ah you can do better than that.

No

Then maybe I’ll have a look elsewhere

Ok

I’m going now

Fine. Goodbye now.

I walked a couple of steps and then caved in “Ok look I’ll take the chairs.”

I turn back to the book for help but I’m struggling to take in some of the concepts. According to chapter 2, “difficult conversations are made easier if we can fill the pool of shared meaning which is the birthplace of synergy.”

The doorbell rings. There is a man outside selling burglar alarms.

He starts strongly: “Would you like me to show you how vulnerable your home is to thieves?”

But I’m ready. “Certainly! But first we need to commit to seek a mutual purpose, before brainstorming new strategies. Only then can we fill the pool of shared meaning. And give birth to synergy.” I throw in an extra “and obviously this all has to take place in the cloud” just to top things off.

The man looks a little afraid. “Oh…well I can see you’re busy. I’ll call back again sometime”

Victory at last.