OMG HAVE YOU SEEN THE WEATHER LADS?!!!

THE nights have been like those of a claustrophobic Deep South melodrama.

A ceiling fan whirring in the moonlight. You half-expected Jessica Lange to be on the verandah, smoking. “Cain’t seem to sleep in this damn heat. How ‘bout you Sugah?”

Met Eireann issued alerts for good weather. For a population starved of good weather, that was like issuing alerts for happiness. They are colour coded — yellow means it’s acceptable for ould lads to wear a yellow polo shirt, orange indicates that we should get more Fanta and Red for The Grand Colour You Got That Will Turn To Tan After A While. Productivity is almost impossible to maintain.