Jedward have done us all a service by demonstrating persuasively that banality is the new art.
They have shown that the concept of music is outmoded. We must all grow up and embrace the inescapable fact that noise has replaced music.
The great advantage of the noise movement is that there are no rules — nothing to inhibit the free flow of indiscriminate sound; anyone can do it.
As Noel Coward would have said: “Bees do it, even educated fleas do it…” Why don’t we all do it? It is time that we Irish had a Jedward-like conversion and joined the world of arbitrary noise where we all can have a go, repress our creativity, cut loose and defy the laws of gravity by letting our hair up.
Jedward have taken the noise movement one step further by demonstrating that banality can be intensified by disposing of the concept of dance. The tradition of dance has set aside particular patterns of disciplined movement from pure arbitrary gyration; in a modern democracy this is a gross inhibitor of our freedom to move as we wish.
A further extension of our freedom is that when making noise, accompanied by indeterminate movement, we are free to wear anything or nothing.
Even nature is responding to the call; there are fewer song birds in our garden. We are now regularly awakened by the attractive monotonous tone of the pigeon.
It is good to see the Government doing their bit for the new age of noise by radically reducing support for the arts, so making room for more innovative forms of noise.
There are exciting rumours to the effect that Louis Walsh is to take charge of the proposed new ministry for noise. He is the Taoiseach’s personal choice as he hails from Mayo.
The only caveat I have is that Louis may not be sufficiently tone deaf to meet the demands of the post.