It seems he did ring the chancellor, but unfortunately ended up with the German Nein, Nein, Nein service as she just gave a flat out no to his pleas for a bank debt deal.
Let’s hope the Boys in Green fare better in their European clashes than Kenny, who seems to have been kicked from one end of the pitch to the other like a deflating ball by Merkel.
Enda has his predecessor as national manager to thank for Ireland ending up in the economic group of death with Greece, Spain, and Portugal, but his grip on the game since taking over leaves something to be desired.
In a worrying repeat of the 2002 World Cup, Ireland looks set to go down to Spain on penalties, because Madrid is just too big to be bullied by Berlin in the way we have been and will get its bank bailout without the austerity shackles that came as Dublin’s penalty for propping-up up its casino banking sector.
And who can blame the Spaniards for sticking it up to the Germans? How ironic that the twin sky scrapers that house the HQ for Spain’s most troublesome financial institution, Bankia, are built in a fashion to make it look as if they could topple over at any moment, as that is exactly what they threaten to do in monetary terms.
But as reigning world and European soccer champions, Spain’s scoresheet is far more impressive.
With the failure of leadership that has exemplified Angela Merkel over the past three years of turmoil, the chancellor seems at a total loss as to what to do — too scared to use German wealth to underpin the Euro project by allowing the ECB to produce eurozone-wide bonds that would anchor all the economies and bring a parity of interest rates which would probably stabilise the situation, and too arrogant to admit how wrong she has been in allowing the situation to drift so dangerously since 2009.
“We need more Europe, a budget union, and we need a political union first and foremost. We must, step by step, cede responsibilities to Europe,” Merkel announced in her typically vague and unstructured way, which merely added to the uncertainty and suspicion as it conjures up the image of a monolithic, unaccountable superstate, run by and on the behalf of the Brussels bureaucracy.
Berlin would dearly like to see Greece off the pitch and out of the game before applying radical measures such as eurobonds, but the unknown damage an exit by Athens would do to the rest of the EU is again stalling such a tough decision.
But at least Ireland will be cheered on in the stands by the caliber of public representative that is Mick Wallace.
The tax-evading TD was previously only famous for his loud pink shirts and his even louder opinions on the need for social equality and greater public spending.
Now he is exposed as somebody who knowingly put in fraudulent Vat returns from his construction company on such a scale that said company now owes the State — ie, you and me — €2.1m.
But do not expect Wallace to dip into his pockets to pay any of it off as he blithely claims it is nothing to do with him. Speaking in that third person way so beloved of the type of vanity merchant politician Wallace always threatened to be, he announced: “Mick Wallace has not broken any tax law, his company did.”
The fact Wallace deliberately lied to the Revenue about Vat returns when he was MD of the company he now seems to claim to have nothing to do with, seems to suggest serious split personality issues might be at play — or maybe just a case of nauseatingly grubby and self-serving nit-picking.
Wallace casually insists it is “very unlikely” taxpayers will ever get their hands on the €2.1m he, sorry, the company he was MD of when he lied to the Revenue, deprived the State of.
Yet Wallace sees absolutely nothing wrong in continuing to draw the €92,672, TD’s salary generously given to him by us mugs who do not commit illegal acts regarding our tax affairs.
And despite being on his uppers by drawing just three times the average wage, Wallace has managed to put by some cash for a jolly to the Euro Championships.
It may only be a couple of grand, but surely it would be a symbolic show of contrition, indeed acknowledgement of shame, if he were to forego his little footie adventure and give the cash to the State?
A gesture, yes, but one that could cover the wages of a nurse for a couple of weeks — after all Wallace and his fellow self-appointed moral guardians in the technical group of Independent TDs never stop bleating about the awful consequences of the freeze on frontline health service staff.
But that would mean putting his money where his loud mouth is, and Wallace is clearly not up to that.
And what of the rag-bag collection of publicity junkies he hangs out with in the Dáil? They would have screamed down Leinster House if a Coalition or Fianna Fáil TD had been caught out acting as illegally as Wallace — and then pretending the debt had nothing to do with him.
But, strangely they were no where to be seen before putting out belated condemnations, but stopping well short of calling for his resignation.
Socialist Joe Higgins insists it is a matter between Wallace and the people of Wexford, but how in hell are those voters — many of whom must feel rightly betrayed and sickened by Wallace — supposed to make their feelings known this side of the 2016 general election, Joe?
By blowing the whistle on his cold calling, Angela may have exposed Enda as politically impotent in Europe, but he still has power at home and should rush forward Dáil reform so that, as in the US, a mass petition can force a recall election for politicians who somehow think they are beyond the law — and the wrath of the electorate.
Voters deserve the right to show the red card to a pink hypocrite like Wallace.