Nudist enthusiasts leave some people out in cold

IT’S only March but already there’s a profusion of willies on the gay naturist beach at the bottom of our hill.

Behind the manmade wall of shingle, heaped there by bulldozers to protect the passing public from the sight of so many naked men, are lots and lots of naked men, glorying in the climate-changed hot spring and each other. You can see them — and their willies — from the top deck of the bus that goes along the seafront into town.

You’ve probably guessed by now that I am not writing this from an Irish seaside town. As far as I know you don’t get colonies of naked men on Irish beaches, stretched out in the sun like slimmed-down seals. Think of me as a foreign correspondent.