Living the nightmare of austerity

HELLO my name is Martin.

I am the middle child of five; my parents are Enda and Joan Austerity.

Over the years we had a good standard of living but recently our parents told us that we had to tighten our belts.

My eldest brother is the highest income earner, works for the Government and is away on business a lot of the time.

When he comes home for the weekend my parents warn us not to bother him, he hands up very little money into our weekly kitty fund. My parents say that his high-powered job keeps the family name in high profile so no more can be asked of him.

My eldest sister is a teacher and complains that she is asked to hand up more money than my brother. I myself am a student at UCC and hold down a low paid part-time job.

I give up fifty per cent of my money to the kitty.

My younger brother is unemployed and claims the jobseekers’ allowance.

Because he was complaining a lot recently of the amount of money he had to hand over he was told he had to sleep out in a tent in the back garden regardless of the weather.

My younger sister has a learning disability which has affected her education.

Her special needs classes have been stopped, she has been told to stop complaining and be happy with her lot.

Oh, I’ve just woken-up — it was just a very bad dream.

I ask my real parents to reassure me that they will never be as selfish and inconsiderate as Enda and Joan Austerity.

Martin Ownes

Green Valley

Donnybrook

Douglas

Cork