‘Ryanhair’ will give you a proper trimming

IN view of Ryanair’s fares strategy, I have decided to open a barber shop and call it RyanHair.

I will determine the price of haircut by the following criteria:

First, the charge for the haircut will be only €0.01, with a few other charges.

If you want to sit while getting your hair cut it will cost you €4 to get in the chair and €4 to get out of it.

If you decide to stand during the haircut there is a priority charge of €10. If you want your hair washed, it will cost you €4 for cold water or €6 for hot, and if you want it dried, add €4 more.

If you want to sit inside the barber

shop while waiting for an open chair, there will be a €2 sit-down charge.

If you bring shopping bags with you, it will cost €1.50 per bag when you enter and €1.50 when you leave.

Other charges include VAT at 13.5%, a service charge of 10%, €2.50 for credit card charge and, finally, €3 for hidden charges such as the use of the loo, one cup of coffee or tea, depreciation on clippers and combs, shampoo and conditioner.

Terms and Conditions: hair cannot be more that four inches long; check-in times for haircut at least 20 minutes before appointment; seating is not assigned — first come, first served — and a valid passport is needed for international haircut styles.

Kevin Devitte

Mill Street

Westport

Co Mayo