‘Goodnight’ is Eamon’s last word on last Last Word

MOVE over Raymond. Everybody Loves Eamon.

As Ireland’s most controversial journalist raised his parting glass last night, listeners tuned in to a love-in that would make the stuff of legends.

Gutted guests spoke of the departing Dunph’s ‘magnificence’ on the airwaves.

Forlorn fans for whom St Eamon had fought the good fight told him they ‘didn’t stand a chance without him.’

Regular contributor to the Last Word, author Anthony Cronin, waxed lyrical about St Eamon’s passion for the truth, personal as well as public.

The Department of Microbiology in Galway paused in their study of micro organisms to praise the greatest living organism of them all.

“Thanks for keeping us sane, Eamon,” was the message from the mad scientists.

His faithful audience was treated to some of the show’s more memorable moments. A replay of Pat Rabbitte and Damien Kiberd tearing strips off each other in a row that originally centred on the proposed National Sports Complex in Abbotstown, but degenerated into a childish slagging match.

Protagonist number one: “You expect to be treated with the type of reverence that would normally be attributed to the Dalai Lama on a visit to Tibet.”

Protagonist number two: “You have a Patrick Pearse complex. This must be the only studio in the country where you don’t have your own make-up room.”

Somewhere along the way, St Eamon declared he’d lost his running order; others appeared to have lost the run of themselves.

Ian Noctor just couldn’t help himself. Departing from his script, the sports presenter genuflected before St Eamon.

“You’ll be sadly missed,” he said, before thanking the great man on behalf of management and staff.

St Eamon himself was under pressure. As the praise poured in and the back-clappery continued, his own voice shook from time to time. It took that turkey Dustin to bring him back to earth. Reminding him of cringe-worthy performances as presenter of TV3’s the Weakest Link, Dustin didn’t hold back.

“That was a brutal show. How you got away with it for so long, I don’t know.”

But as usual, St Eamon had the Last Word. Having thanked all the people who worked with him on his show over the past five years, and on the brink of bawling, he bowed out. ‘Goodnight.’ His Last Word. For now.