An afternoon which started with a huge social-media hoax about The Gobby One getting the boot ended with the Scousers stealing our thunder by sacking Brendan Rodgers. In between, we’ve witnessed the sort of complete performance from the Gunners against Manchester United that we’ve been waiting for, ever since Fergie sought refuge in his pipe and slippers.

Owen Hargreaves knew Bastian Schweinsteiger was different when the Manchester United midfielder approached him and demanded his boots.

There was much delight among travelling Gooners at being geographically blessed with the dream ticket promotion of Watford, Bournemouth and Norwich.

Considering he was just about the only Arsenal player to come out of last Sunday’s lamentably anti-climactic curtain-raiser with any credit, the Ox must have been disappointed to have found himself benched for Sunday’s encounter at Crystal Palace.

Thankfully, unlike the farcical officiating at the Etihad, the ref at St James’ Park on Saturday didn’t thoroughly spoil the spectacle for the watching millions, by sending the wrong player off in the opening seconds.

When it comes to the subject of the United-Liverpool rivalry, I am often reminded of the phrase "the narcissism of small differences". What must we look like to outsiders?

We played like Christmas turkeys…

Our pundits take a look at the ins and outs of this week's action, from messages written in the sky to missed opportunities.

CHELSEA

There may be an arctic chill on the banks of the River Mersey this morning but, make no mistake, beneath its waters a cauldron is bubbling.

Long may the media pundits continue rubbishing the Gunners’ title pretensions as with each successive victory I find myself anticipating, ever more eagerly, the enthralling prospect of these so-called experts having to eat their words.

OWEN COYLE’S combative Trotters wouldn’t normally have been top of my list of ideal opposition for a confidence restoring encounter ahead of our trip to White Hart Lane.

THERE are still plenty of Gooners clinging on like grim death to the hope that the greatest manager our glorious club has ever known, might yet prove he’s not become entirely blind to reality.

OKAY, hands up. Never mind the never-ending saga of Manny Eboué’s infuriating naivety, I take full responsibility for the injury-time fiasco at the Emirates on Sunday.

I ALWAYS look forward to the annual Everton expedition. Like a comfortable pair of battered old shoes, Goodison Park remains a Coronation Street-style people’s palace, compared to the modern glass and steel aesthetics of the Gunners’ iconic Canary Wharf-like atheneum.

IF some French floozy has managed to distract an obsessed Arsene Wenger from his spreadsheets and his wall-to-wall diet of world football, long enough for some extra-curricular activities, well all I can say is that she must’ve presented him with some seriously attractive statistics.

IT’S ALWAYS hard to lose a game, but to lose to arguably the worst Liverpool side for decades (with only a couple of players excused from that description) is depressing.

IT’S been a week dominated by news of a tidal wave of toxic red sludge sweeping through benighted streets.

IT suddenly occurred to me at the weekend that I might’ve missed England v Montenegro, only to discover this game wasn’t until Tuesday night.

Gamu Nhengu was not among the four 'X-Factor' acts had their hopes of pop stardom revived tonight when they were revealed as wildcards for the final.

IN the absence of the spine of Arsene Wenger’s side (Van Persie, Fabregas, Vermaelen, Walcott etc), the Gunners gave a creditable account of themselves on Sunday.

SCHADENFREUDE is not, perhaps, the noblest of human emotions. Moreover, revelling in the tribulations of other clubs can be regarded as being a tad ‘small time’, if you overdo it.

I HAVE always suffered with PMT – that’s Pre-Match Tension – but the week leading up to the Liverpool game was torturous. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t sleep, I was distracted, my nerves were shot to pieces with the thought that we could have come so close and then throw it away for the third and final time at Anfield.

IT’S a sorry state of affairs when one’s aspirations are limited to a desire to see the local rivals prospects of silverware run their course for yet another campaign.

I STRUGGLED to muster the enthusiasm to drag myself off the couch on Sunday afternoon. I’d been feeling decidedly ropy and the last thing I fancied was freezing my cods off on my motorbike traversing the capital to Stamford Bridge.

IT’S hard not to harbour hope of straddling the Premier League ship summit, subsequent to this evening’s encore with Owen Coyle’s side.

FESTIVE greetings to you, dear reader – assuming you are a blessed Red, naturally. May any eavesdropping Scousers-Bitters-Rent Boys have a miserable New Year.

HERE’S an easy tip for you to spot a wrong one, Red-wise: did he burble to you on Saturday night about Ryan’s “100th Premiership goal”? If so, it’s as sure a mark of a clown as a bright red nose. (Erm, that’s not a dig at you, Fergie.)

IT was vital that we beat Spurs on Saturday, to ensure that we re-established the natural North London order of things.

WIT the much-mourned quasi-retirement of Terry Wogan, these islands’ Greatest Living Broadcaster is now undoubtedly ‘Lord’ Danny Baker, and he recently addressed one of his pet targets, the — underachieving Rafa Benitez.

THERE was an awful déjà vu moment, when Liam Ridgewell took Theo Walcott out, in the opening blows of a typically bruising encounter with Birmingham on Saturday.

GOING well isn’t it? You can always tell the season is in full swing when a certain bookie stops taking bets on Rafa quitting.

IF YOU hadn’t previously heard the famous F-worded Fergie quote about United’s historical challenge against Liverpool, you must have done by now: it’s been repeated ad nauseam by every newspaper since Saturday.

IT’S AN indication of what an instant hit Federico ‘Kiko’ Macheda has been with Reds that we are already scrambling about trying to knock up a song or two for him.

NORMALLY, dear reader, you and I are already putting the past weekend to bed and looking forward to the future on these Wednesday mornings, aren’t we?

AN IMPORTANT part of the work of a responsible, professional journalist such as myself is research. Or, as we like to call it in the trade: Talking To A Local Taxi Driver On The Day Of The Game.

MANY people, including Chelsea fans, forget that Wigan are a top-eight side. And anyone who saw the game this weekend will know why. They played some really good football and selling Heskey has made them into a better passing team as the temptation to “lump it to the big guy up front” is no longer there. Even Titus Bramble looked a talented all-rounder as he tested Cech, cleared balls off the line and made mazy runs like Pele!

I NEVER did like the Carling Cup anyway, it’s a Mickey Mouse competition; I’m glad we’re out, it means we can concentrate on the league — have I covered all the cliches yet?

LIAM Mackey is off in sunny Spain so regular substitute ALLAN PROSSER has done his stretching exercises on the touchline, stripped off the tracksuit and is charging into the fray to mediate your opinions for the first time this season.

IT’S THE sort of thing a sulky child might say: “I didn’t want to go to Russia anyway”.