Dear Dáithí: My job-share partner wants a lengthy holiday... I can't cover it

My job-share partner was happy to pick up my two-week holiday, but now they want to take double that

A few months ago, I told my job-sharing partner I planned to take two weeks off to go on holiday, and they were happy to pick up those dates. I fully expected that I’d do the same for their summer break.

Dear Dáithí,

I’ve been job-sharing for a few years, since I went back to work after having my daughter. I work two days one week and three days the next, and the arrangement works well for our family.

We have support from grandparents for the days I work.

A few months ago, I told my job-sharing partner I planned to take two weeks off to go on holiday, and they were happy to pick up those dates. I fully expected I’d do the same for their summer break.

Now, I’ll admit I also expected they would be looking to take two weeks off. I was taken aback to get an email from my job-sharing partner to let me know that they are going to take four weeks. They have a family wedding abroad. It’s not something they would typically do.

Now I’m happy to cover the two weeks but there’s no way I could work full-time for four weeks without it having a serious knock-on effect. I’m lucky to have family support but can’t expect my family to step in for that long either. What do I do?

We have all heard a lot about job-sharing in recent years but, to be honest, I didn’t know the ins and outs of what it exactly is, so when you brought this to me, I had to go and find out more about the subject.

From your letter, it seems you have a 50:50 job share with your job-share partner and that means you share everything 50:50, and any holidays are to be worked out between you both.

This has all worked well for the last few years, which is great, and, in all fairness, this does seem like a once-off scenario. I think you would like this good relationship with your job-share partner to keep going. I believe, from speaking to people, that if you have a bad one, it might be a pain.

Everything seemed to be going well when you sent off your dates, and they were happy to cover them and these were your plans.

Their plans were different. Everyone is entitled to have their own plans and sometimes when their plans don’t match ours, we can get pissed off.

To be honest, that isn’t the way the world works. If the person was doing this every week and changing all the time, I’d have an issue with it, but not really in this case.

I always think it’s dangerous to expect anything from others in life — it can lead to disappointment and, really, it’s just a matter of people wanting different things. That’s the way we need to look at this; it’s nothing personal.

Because you have a few years of a very good relationship with this person, I really think they should have called you on the phone. This job-sharing thing is good for them too and they should have been pro-active and called you to say there was a big family wedding coming up and they needed an extra two weeks.

This would have made more of an impression on you and also given you more time to sort something out or, at least, a chance to discuss it with them.

Now you are left with this, and at a dead end in one way, and it seems it is up to you to sort it out.

One thing I don’t understand is that you’re taking two weeks off and the other person is taking four weeks, so there is an extra two weeks that you have to work.

Now, if it’s a case where you would like to work two extra weeks and can store them for a time that you need them, and if this is what you want to do, well, that is great and the other person would cover you for that, but this has not been discussed, that offer is not on the table.

It does sound like this other person has done this without having spoken to the boss. It really is up to both of you to sort this out and, if that is the case, they were way out of line not calling you to discuss!

There must be a boss you can go and see to say: "Look, I can definitely do the normal two weeks like every other year but you need to do something about the other two weeks as I can’t cover them for a few different reasons."

Another question I have is: What if you say no to this person and that you can’t cover them for the extra two weeks... whose problem is it at the end of the day?

Are you obliged to cover everything your job-share partner asks? What does your contract say? I highly doubt it says you have to say, "How high?" when asked to jump.

It’s important here to know your rights. I never had any problems working extra when approached properly, and we all go the extra mile for special occasions and that always comes back in spades.

Now, if your back is really to the wall, go to your family for that help; they won’t mind because it is only a once-off situation and explain what has happened.

Things happen, we deal with them, and we move on.

Be sure if you do work the extra two weeks to get the time back and be certain to send an email to your job-share partner and explain what has happened here.

They might not have thought it much of an ask, and the next time you/they want more time, it’s to be discussed before any dates are booked in.

If they don’t know, tell them about your family situation and that it’s not easy to find cover for the home.

They need to know this; it’s important going forward and that the point is made!