RTÉ star Mairead Ronan has spoken about how she only started mourning her mother’s death when she became a mam herself.
Ronan's mother, Maureen, passed away the night before her 21st birthday and she says it wasn’t until her son, Dara, was born that she realised the impact of her mother’s death on her life.
Her mother passed away after a long illness and Ronan said she “was willing mam to die.”
“It was a relief when she died because she was suffering so much. It's a strange feeling to be willing someone you adore to pass away,” she told Esther McCarthy in ‘The Moments That Made Me', the new weekend podcast from the Irish Examiner in association with Green & Blacks.
The 'Ireland’s Fittest Family' host and 2019 winner of 'Dancing with the Stars' said she felt “robbed” of her mother’s presence when she needed her most.
“It doesn't matter what age you are, it's tough [to lose a parent]. When I became a mam, I was young in that I was first of all my friends, age 27. I really started mourning the loss of my own mother then, in the months after he was born.
When it comes to an afterlife, Ronan believes her mother is “around in some form” and she finds some comfort in going to Mass.
“I believe she's around in some form. ...She said to me, when she knew she was dying, I can do more for you up there than I can down there, I do believe she has minded me and guided me.
“I'm a cherry-picking Catholic. I like to go into a church, I like to light a candle, I like the switching off that goes with that. I go to Mass about once a month. I like the switch off, but I haven't been to Mass since last March.”