Father and son bond through volunteering with young patients: 'It's the highlight of my week'

Ian and Ben Rattray volunteer with the LauraLynn children’s hospice on Sunday mornings. They talk about the friendships they have forged and how the experience has brought them closer

Ian Rattray with his son Ben, who both volunteer with Laura Lynn in Dublin. Picture: Moya Nolan

Ian and Ben Rattray are booked up on Sunday mornings. That’s when the Kiltiernan, Co Dublin-based father and son spend a couple of hours volunteering at LauraLynn, Ireland’s children’s hospice.

Ben, 22, who began volunteering 10 months ago, says: “If it’s nice weather, we play outside with the kids. Some are in a wheelchair. A lot of them just like to walk around. With the more mobile, we play hide-and-seek — chase them around. And if the weather isn’t nice, we might read a story to them.”

“Dad was doing it years before me. I got into it, seeing what he was doing. It’s probably the highlight of my week. I have a lot of fun doing it; in a sense, it brings me back to my childhood.”

Ben, a final-year computer-science student at University College Dublin, acknowledges that his dad is “the funny one” in the family. “He was always very good with us — my sister and me — and you could see he really enjoyed spending time with kids. So, at LauraLynn, he’ll be the one pretending to steal the children’s noses and falling over.”

Ian, 53, whose daughter, Izzy, is 21, says the Sunday morning hours volunteering with Ben at LauraLynn are a great bonding time. “I can also take a step back and see how Ben is interacting with the kids and how he has grown up and matured. And then going home in the car, we’re often having a good chat about it and a laugh.

“You don’t see many younger volunteers across different areas: I think it’s good for Ben.”

Ian, who works in banking, had never heard of LauraLynn until about four years ago, when his company was supporting the charity over a two-year period. “At work, we get volunteer days and we’re encouraged to take those days. So they let us know the ask: That LauraLynn was looking for volunteers to paint and decorate the windows for Christmas.

“I didn’t know what to expect… We ended up drawing snowmen and Santas and elves, anything to brighten up the building to show Christmas was on the way. It was fun; a great day. We got a tour and heard about the history of LauraLynn, what it does, and how and why it was formed.”

It wasn’t until a St Patrick’s Day parade in the grounds of LauraLynn a few months later that Ian “got to see some of the kids and families”, as well as volunteers cheering on the children. “We could see how the kids were enjoying it.”

Ian’s company bought tickets for LauraLynn’s Heroes’ Ball — the charity’s annual fundraising gala — later that year. “That’s where we really got to hear more stories and to see the contribution others were giving to LauraLynn, in terms of the auction, the entertainment. I reached out directly to LauraLynn then. I wasn’t sure how I could volunteer or what the opportunities were.”

Ian Rattray with his son Ben: Ian says: “You don’t see many younger volunteers across different areas: I think it’s good for Ben.” Picture: Moya Nolan

His volunteering debut at LauraLynn was cleaning its disability vehicles at weekends, until, one day, going into the hospice to collect car keys, he met one of the children.

“We ended up hanging out; just playing. It was fun, and eye-opening to realise how much they enjoyed the company, someone to interact with. They just wanted to play. I spoke to the volunteer co-ordinator, and that’s how the Sunday mornings started.

“Ben and I have met the same children on a number of occasions and we’ve formed a bond: They recognise us and we recognise them.”

Previously a volunteer on the support line of a mental-health charity, Ian says LauraLynn just “felt like I was in the right place to volunteer: It was more face-to-face; it drew me”.

Each of the men has had his own special moments as a volunteer. Ben recalls recently arranging for any trucks or cars entering LauraLynn’s grounds to blow their horn for the benefit of a child who loves the sound — and letting the same child ring the hospice’s bell. “You could see he was really enjoying it. It seemed like an ordinary moment, but it was very special.”

For Ian, the LauraLynn Oscars — where movies created by children and families are ‘premiered’ — is just “amazing” to see. He has been to the most recent two. “The whole black-tie affair, the stories the kids film; and we get to chauffeur them around, escort them to their seats, cheer them on; it’s unbelievable.”

Ian is always impressed by the LauraLynn staff. “They all work as a team. You walk in, and you see it: Everyone has a goal; they know what they’re there for. And the stories you hear from the people who both work and volunteer there. It would encourage anyone to volunteer.”

Both father and son get a lot back from volunteering. “I feel kind of uplifted by it. I’m in a good mood for the rest of the day,” says Ben.

For Ian, it’s grounding. “It makes me wake up to what I have, how lucky I am.”

LauraLynn provides vital care and support to children with life-limiting conditions and their families across Ireland. As the country’s only children’s hospice provider, the charity offers symptom-management, short breaks, end-of-life care, family support and bereavement services, delivered in LauraLynn House, in hospitals, in local communities, and in family homes.

LauraLynn relies primarily on fundraising income to provide its services free to families. “Volunteers are the heart of our team in LauraLynn, helping to enhance the services we provide,” says a spokesperson.

• For more about volunteering opportunities, visit lauralynn.ie/how-to-help/volunteer