Meet the volunteers who befriend others to battle loneliness: 'We'll be there for you'

With International Day of Friendship just around the corner, Jonathan deBurca Butler talks to volunteers and their elderly friends about keeping the fires of friendship burning later in life

Kathleen Kennedy (right) with friends Maura Doyle, Patty Judge, and Frances Slevin at Friends of the Elderly. Kathleen, 83, says of Friends of the Elderly: “It gets you out. I live in a senior citizen complex and some of the residents just don’t go out"

It’s a searing hot summer’s day in Dublin’s north inner city. The desert-like air mixes with the hustle and bustle of traffic and the noise of banter as people go about their business.

Among this melee of everyday life sits an oasis of calm, a place where life moves a little more slowly… or at least that is what I came expecting.

When I walk through the doors of the Friends of the Elderly centre on Bolton Street, I’m met with the unmistakable melody of Tie A Yellow ’Round The Old Oak Tree and energetic partners dancing vigorously along.

Every Tuesday and Wednesday, the charity’s headquarters come alive with music, dancing, and conversation as older people travel from across the city to attend its weekly social clubs. On this particular Wednesday, Martin Hunt, better known as Little Elvis, is at the centre of it all, belting out classic hits to an enthusiastic audience.

“I’ve been doing it on and off for about 15 years,” says the 76-year-old. “You only have to look around today and see the faces on people to see why. I remember a few years ago, a woman told me this was the highlight of her week, and if they’re happy, that’s my job.

Martin Hunt, better known as Little Elvis, belts out classic hits to an enthusiastic audience at the Friends of the Elderly centre in Dublin

“That’s why I do it. It gives them a bit of joy and brings memories back for them. It’s a blessing to be honest.”

Among those listening to Martin’s pitch-perfect baritone is Kathleen Kennedy, who is from nearby Phibsborough. The former GPO worker has been coming to these events for more than 13 years.

“I remember the first Wednesday I came down,” recalls the 83-year-old. “It was lashing rain but I thought it was great and I’ve been coming ever since.”

Though she isn’t dancing when I meet her, Kathleen tells me she is a dab hand (or should I say foot) when it comes to line dancing.

While that, the live music, and the tasty-looking sweet treats on offer are a big part of the attraction, there’s a simple truth about these regular gatherings for Kathleen.

“It gets you out,” she says. “I live in a senior citizen complex in Phibsborough and some of the residents just don’t go out. They don’t bother. But we come every Tuesday and Wednesday.”

Brian’s story

Brian Byrne, 73, takes two buses and 90 minutes to get here and rarely misses a single social. The former barman and post office worker got involved with the charity after his wife Joan passed away in 2023.

“My sister tells me she can’t get over how much I’ve improved since I joined here because I was so down and out when my wife died,” he explains.

“Joan was great. If there are angels up there, she is one of them.

“This sort of stuff appeals to me. I’m quite sociable. It has been beneficial,” adds Brian.

“Our motto is simple,” says Bernie Curran, general manager, Friends of the Elderly Ireland.

“Everyone needs friends. It isn’t just something we say, it is something we strive to make a reality every day.

“Every act of kindness helps build a friendship that can change a life.”

International Day of Friendship is celebrated on July 30 each year.

Brian Byrne outside The Friends of the Elderly in Bolton Street, Dublin. The 73-year-old started attending the centre after his wife died in 2023

Established in 2011 by the United Nations General Assembly, it aims to promote peace, bridge cultures, and build trust through human solidarity

The day also acts as a reminder that no-one should face later life alone. “Together, we can ensure that every older person feels valued, connected, and knows that someone cares,” runs the mission statement.

Founded in 1980, Friends of the Elderly is a national volunteer-based charity dedicated to reducing loneliness and social isolation among older people through friendship and meaningful social connection.

Last year, the charity supported more than 1,300 older members across Ireland with the help of over 340 volunteers.

In addition to a whole host of regular events, the service offers a visitation service where volunteers are paired with elderly people, often with similar interests.

Helen’s story

Helen Montgomery lives in Dún Laoghaire, and though she often makes the trip into town to attend the weekly knees-up, she sometimes doesn’t have the time. A year ago, she was offered the chance to buddy up (my term, not theirs) with Mizuho Yamaki, a Japanese theatre and television scriptwriter who has been studying in Ireland since 2019.

“Mizuho calls into me maybe every two weeks,” says Helen. “We don’t have a set time. She texts me and asks when I’m free or I’ll text her. We’ve been to the theatre a few times, or she’ll cook a Japanese meal and we will have a few drinks. It’s nice to know that somebody is calling in.”

Helen has six children and though they are back and forth a lot, she says she misses having a lively household. She is a member of a book club and a retirement group, but as far as she’s concerned, you can never have too many friends.

“I’ve been living in an apartment for four years,” she says. “That is a bit of a change from the house I was in. It was a busy house. So this kind of silence can be a bit much at times. It’s a big change and it’s quite a shock.

“Also, I have no garden so it’s quite confined. So to have someone to call in and organise to go and do something is nice.”

Mizuho is currently doing a PhD on Japanese Noh Theatre and its relationship to Celtic Folklore.

She says that volunteering has given her the chance to meet and “get to know more people in the community”.

“Helen loves art and she’s really bubbly so I get on well with her,” says the 30-year-old.

“As a writer, I stay in my room by myself quite a bit so I need company and someone to talk to.

Helen is lovely to talk to outside of my work. She asks me lots about my research, and sometimes she even gives me great advice around it and recommends books for me.

For those who need friendship but can’t get out, Friends of the Elderly also offers a phone service.

Emer’s story

When her husband died five years ago, Emer Mullen found herself with time on her hands.

“I retired from the civil service the year after he died, and someone said to me that volunteering would be a great way to fill some of that time,” says the 65-year-old. “I wanted to work with older people anyway.

Emer Mullen volunteers at Friends Of The Elderly. “I get out of the house, I get to talk to people on the phone and connect with them, and I feel that I’m doing something useful," she says

“A lot of the members aren’t that much older than me. They might be 10 or 15 years older but that doesn’t really matter much at this stage in my life. I wanted to work with people that I’d have something in common with. It’s very rewarding. You’re making contact, making a connection, and the members are great.

Getting older isn’t easy; you might find yourself on your own, you might have health issues, but they’re still willing to chat about everything from weather to what’s on television to politics.

Emer volunteers once a week, for two hours on a Thursday afternoon. The number of calls she makes in that period depends on the day, but she says that she “probably gets through about four or five calls in the two hours”.

“When I did the interview with Friends of the Elderly before I started, they did ask me what I was going to get out of it,” she says. “I get out of the house, I get to talk to people on the phone and connect with them, and I feel that I’m doing something useful.

“When you’re in your 80s and 90s, you might have lost a lot of friends and sometimes families can’t do as much as they’d like to do, so loneliness is a problem. That’s why they want the phone call.”

Back in Bolton Street, Brian Byrne takes a break from the dance floor.

“I look forward to coming in every week,” he says. “The people here are nice and it relaxes me. I’ve made lots of new friends.”