Five ways to nurture female friendships

Healthy, strong friendships give women an outlet to share their problems, thoughts, feelings, and triumphs

Women often have a strong social support network, which enables them to bounce back from setbacks more quickly. File picture: PA

FEMALE friendships often involve a deep and meaningful connection, with women frequently coming together to support one another through major life milestones and challenging moments.

Psychologist Dr Vanessa Pilkington says strong female friendships can offer many benefits.

Here, she shares advice on nurturing and sustaining these important bonds over time.

1. Provides emotional support: “Female friendships often involve listening, reflecting, supporting, understanding and giving empathy,” says Pilkington. “There’s this sort of unspoken rule that ‘we’ll go for a coffee and I’ll listen to your problems for half an hour, and then you’ll listen to mine’.

“Whereas, I think with men, this emotional support tends to be secondary to activities. They will often meet up to do a competitive sport, and then might have a catch-up afterwards, but are probably less likely to delve straight into talking about their problems.”

The psychologist also highlights that the first question women often ask each other is, how are you feeling?

“Women tend to have deeper conversations about the way they feel and what’s going on in their lives,” says Pilkington. “Having someone who can listen in a non-judgemental, reflective way and can maybe mirror some things back to you helps dissipate some of these feelings and provides a lot of support.”

2. Helps women bounce back quicker from setbacks: “Women often have a strong emotional and social support network, which enables them to bounce back from setbacks more quickly,” says the psychologist. 

“That sense of emotional belonging is particularly protective during challenging times such as grief, divorce, menopause, relocation, postpartum blues, career changes, illness and family problems as it gives them an extra level of support.

“When people experience profound change, or what can feel like elements of loss, it can be a lonely, isolating time — and I think women are more likely to come together during these times.”

3. Boosts mental health: “Strong supportive friendships can have huge benefits for your mental health,” says Pilkington.

“For example, if someone is struggling with anxiety, they might feel much safer and more secure with a friend. In addition, you’re less likely to suffer depression if you have good emotional support and strong supportive relationships.

Furthermore, we know that social support helps tackle loneliness and isolation.

4. Boosts health: “Having a strong supportive network of friends is a protective factor for our health, as it can help lower inflammation and reduce cortisol levels,” says Pilkington. “People are much more likely to get ill if their stress levels, inflammation levels and cortisol levels are high.”

5. Improves confidence and self-esteem: “Women tend to be good at noticing small things and will often compliment each other’s clothes, hair, make-up etc,” says Pilkington.

“Positive feedback and positive reinforcement from other people makes you feel good about yourself and reinforces your confidence.”

Here are her tips on how to maintain and nourish your friendships:

Be inclusive:

Make sure everyone feels included in plans. “Remember to be inclusive and to invite everyone to things that are going on so people don’t feel left out or excluded,” says Pilkington.

Pick up the phone:

Addressing issues head on can help prevent resentment and help strengthen a friendship in the long run.

“It’s always good to be honest and clear with your friends when you feel hurt,” says Pilkington. “I would recommend picking up the phone to talk to them about it and to express how you feel.

“You often don’t get the tone of the voice across when communicating via text or email, which can cause a lot of misinterpretation.”

Show up for people:

To have a village of friends to rely on, you need to act like a villager.

“Try and show up for your friends, whether it’s their birthday, wedding or a different special occasion,” recommends Pilkington.

Respect their space:

Pilkington highlights that a key part of any healthy friendship is respecting each other’s space and privacy. “Respect that other people aren’t always going to be available, and that sometimes they may not want to join them with things and want to be left to their own devices,” says the psychologist.