Sex File: She falls asleep straight after we make love 

'I would like to spend a few minutes cuddling'
Sex File: She falls asleep straight after we make love 

Picture: iStock 

My wife falls asleep almost as soon as we've finished having sex. I'm not saying I want to stay up for hours talking afterwards, but I would like to spend a few minutes cuddling. Should I tell her it bothers me?

It is normal to want to spend time cuddling and being intimate after sex. Good sex is reassuring. It makes you feel safe and loved, so you can surrender, let go and allow yourself to be vulnerable. In the moments after orgasm, people are more open and less emotionally guarded, which is why you feel the need to connect with your wife. But the truth is, your wife may not actually be able to help herself. Sex is a powerful sedative and anyone who has ever enjoyed the delightful bliss of a post-orgasmic slumber will tell you that it is the nicest way to fall asleep. The combined release of oxytocin, prolactin and the inhibition of cortisol after orgasm reduces stress and facilitates improved sleep quality in males and females. Prolactin, which is associated with quality of orgasm and sexual satisfaction, also induces sleep.

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