30 is the beginning of the good old days
MY UNCLE died aged 30. I was aged 14 and was bewildered by my grief-stricken family.
Thirty was ancient. It’s only now, aged 28, that I understand his death was untimely.
Perhaps this is why neither I, nor my sister, who was 30 in May, are panicked about getting older. We’re too aware of the alternative.
In a society that blatantly fetishises youth, it’s difficult to feel impervious to the fear of aging.
After being named Esquire magazine’s ‘sexiest woman alive’ for 2013, Scarlett Johannson said: “You know, I gotta hustle. I’m a 28-year-old woman in the movie business, right? Pretty soon, the roles you’re offered all become mothers. Then, they just sort of stop.”
The same cannot be said for male actors.
The average age of best-actor winners at the Academy Awards is 44, nine years older than their female counterparts.
And it’s not only Hollywood actresses who are affected.
In her book, The Beauty Myth, Naomi Wolf argues that as women have gained greater legal, financial and economic freedom, the more unattainable the standards of beauty have become; a rather ingenious method of maintaining the traditional status quo that renders women subordinate to men.
The common cultural script says that a woman’s value is inextricably bound to her physical attractiveness, and, as she ages, much of this ‘value’ is lost.
No wonder there has been such an increase in plastic-surgery procedures. In 2010, a survey conducted among women in the UK revealed that a staggering 24%, aged between 16 and 21, would consider having some ‘work done’. This is supported by similar findings by a survey by the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, in 2011, which reported a sizeable increase in hyaluronic acid and Botox injections in patients under the age of 25.
I’m not suggesting there is anything wrong with wanting to take care of your physical appearance.
Turning 30 is a good opportunity to evaluate your health and, perhaps, implement some beneficial lifestyle changes.
It’s advice we’ve all heard a million times — don’t smoke, eat less sugar, drink more water, get your five-a-day, exercise regularly, cut down on alcohol, get sufficient sleep and, in the words of Baz Lurhmann, wear sunscreen. (Seriously. Dermatologists believe over-exposure to the sun is the number one cause of skin aging).
But if your appearance becomes your source of self-worth, you’re guaranteed to end up miserable. We all get older.
Unless you’re going to take the Joan Rivers, scalpel-happy approach, changes to your face and body are inevitable. Cultivating your personality, your intelligence and your compassion for others is a far more dependable way of determining that the transition into your 30s (and beyond) is successful.
As Sinead O’Connor said: “I always felt I would rather be judged on my talent and not my looks.
“I am happy that I made that choice, not least because I do not find myself on the proverbial rag heap... which, unfortunately, many female artists who have based their image around their sexuality, end up on when they...age.”
Anyway, there’s much anecdotal evidence that turning 30 can be positive.
Many women report feeling surer of themselves and of placing less importance on the opinion of others; that at ‘28, you begin to know yourself, but at 38 you begin to love yourself’.
Actress Olivia Wilde, who will be 30 in March, told Glamour Magazine that she was “hitting a major milestone: 30, or as I like to call it, ‘the cut the bullsh-t and go be awesome stage’.”
So if, like Alexa Chung, you’re turning 30 this year, have a sense of humour about it all.
Don’t buy into the hype that your age somehow dictates what you can and cannot do. Just go and be your true self. Go and be awesome.
How to pull together a look and keep it fresh, by the television presenter Alexa Chung
It’s easy to get into a comfort zone. Compile a scrapbook of inspirational figures, as it’s hard to just pull an image out of your mind and invent something. Even if you don’t look like the person you admire, it’s nice to see what they do with a certain style and make it your own. I always think, ‘If it will look OK on Jane Birkin, then I’ll get it.’ I quite like Diane Kruger’s style, too
A visit to a hair salon can really help to update your style. When I was younger, I used to colour my hair to make it resemble Kurt Cobain’s; but now I just get a richer, deeper version of my own colour, with a 1960s cut. It can be easy to assume that if you have had the same hairstyle and colour for 10 years then that’s your ‘look’, but trying something fresh can really change how you wear clothes
Don’t chuck everything out of your wardrobe and start again. Invest in the odd item every couple of months. A new purchase can change your perspective on other items in your wardrobe. I often find that if I’ve run out of inspiration, I’ll go to a vintage shop, or look for a statement shoe that makes me come up with new ways to wear items I already own. Something as simple as trying on a friend’s jacket can open your eyes to a fresh approach
Don’t feel that once you have found an outfit you like, you must keep wearing it in the same arrangement. I never revisit the same item in the same outfit twice, as even swapping a shirt under your jumper can update the look. However, there are always key pieces that are quite boring but staple — for me, it’s a white T-shirt by APC, black high-waisted jeans and an excellent pea-coat. Once you have found your staple items, you can then start to experiment with pattern and colour
You don’t have to follow them to be stylish, it’s more about whatever you feel looks nice. Also, sometimes if you don’t like a designer collection as soon as it comes out, it may grow on you down the line. I find something similar with Christopher Kane. I like the collection when it’s on the runway but four months later I’m totally in love with it. Sometimes you’re just not ready for an idea
I always go shopping alone, as I don’t like getting tied down by someone um-ing and ah-ing over a shoe. I’ll start off being polite but soon run out of patience, and say things like, ‘They make your feet look massive.’ It’s far easier to be a lone-shark shopper and be selfish about what you need and want for your own wardrobe.
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