Ask Audrey: 'My friend works for Tourism Ireland, we call her Diddly Ei-Leen'

C’mere, what’s the story with coming into contact with English people? I’m not a racist now like, some of my best friends are from Galway. But I seen the story there that New Zealand was infected by two people who flew in from the UK. My initial reaction was sly pleasure, because the Kiwis were doing my head in with their sexy Prime Minister saying they do be free from the virus. Like of course you do be free from it, ye live in the middle of nowhere, lah! But then, I was thinking I wouldn’t like if it happened here, which is a problem because my cousin Dale wants to fly over for a weekend from Manchester. Is it racist for me to say, sorry Dale, but ye do be rancid over there in England?

- Dowcha Donie, Blackpool, not a racist.